The Glove vs. The Balco Bombers (6-16): Unvictorious(?)
The Glove has put together quite a few streaks this season – 9 wins in a row, Cody not making it past 10pm on a Saturday, and Jason not breaking a sweat on the base paths. But in the immortal words of some loser, “All good things must come to an end” (OK maybe just one of the previously mentioned things must end). Overcoming some solid Glove work by Mike, Casey, and Aaron in the outfield, the Glove was able let most hit balls roam free in the wilds of Anacostia Park. While this giving mood displayed the Glove’s virtuous nature, it proved detrimental to securing things like “outs”, “more runs than the other team”, and “silence from the dill wad in left field”.
You know what? F’ it. Here are some odds for Friday’s game against the nimbly pimbly team of Batta:
Odds on which girl takes the next first baseman that gets in their way down town to Chinatown (Pete Chin will be the judge of this):
2 to 1: Megan – She’s due
4 to 1: The JO – The gavel will be brought down one of these days
6 to 1: Heather – Bedbugs may cause itching, red marks, and bulldozing like abilities
7 to 1: Casey – Realizing that the first baseman’s glove was made out of coal and cap and trade might just put her over the edge
8 to 1: Johanna – Used to be called “Gymnasty” in her gymnast days
10 to 1: Yostinator – Usually she would be at the top of the list, but her injured knee and desire for “Rock Lobster” to played during any beat down, puts her in the least likely category
Odds on which corner infielder leaves the after party with one of the other team’s ladies:
1 to 1: Sir Loin – Not married yet and the ladies love a man well versed in managerial positions
4 to 1: Flanagan – Although whatever lady leaves with him is probably only giving him a ride to Harris Teeter, never count out a student athlete
9 to 1: Robb – Probably only happening if he talks about touring with Evil Steed back in ‘94
14 to 1: Chandler – Not going to be at the game, plus finding a girl who will call him Mike Patten is getting harder and harder
One last note about the game goes to Jeffrey Samuel Feintech who was the best damn player both on and off the field. He is also my hero of heroes.
Street Credit Ratings:
The other team having 2 red heads on their team thereby constituting a “ginger explosion”: +3% Fielding: -25%
The Skip finally buying (albeit too late) some PBR: +13%
Batting: -23%
Final Street Credit Rating: 99%
The Glove has put together quite a few streaks this season – 9 wins in a row, Cody not making it past 10pm on a Saturday, and Jason not breaking a sweat on the base paths. But in the immortal words of some loser, “All good things must come to an end” (OK maybe just one of the previously mentioned things must end). Overcoming some solid Glove work by Mike, Casey, and Aaron in the outfield, the Glove was able let most hit balls roam free in the wilds of Anacostia Park. While this giving mood displayed the Glove’s virtuous nature, it proved detrimental to securing things like “outs”, “more runs than the other team”, and “silence from the dill wad in left field”.
You know what? F’ it. Here are some odds for Friday’s game against the nimbly pimbly team of Batta:
Odds on which girl takes the next first baseman that gets in their way down town to Chinatown (Pete Chin will be the judge of this):
2 to 1: Megan – She’s due
4 to 1: The JO – The gavel will be brought down one of these days
6 to 1: Heather – Bedbugs may cause itching, red marks, and bulldozing like abilities
7 to 1: Casey – Realizing that the first baseman’s glove was made out of coal and cap and trade might just put her over the edge
8 to 1: Johanna – Used to be called “Gymnasty” in her gymnast days
10 to 1: Yostinator – Usually she would be at the top of the list, but her injured knee and desire for “Rock Lobster” to played during any beat down, puts her in the least likely category
Odds on which corner infielder leaves the after party with one of the other team’s ladies:
1 to 1: Sir Loin – Not married yet and the ladies love a man well versed in managerial positions
4 to 1: Flanagan – Although whatever lady leaves with him is probably only giving him a ride to Harris Teeter, never count out a student athlete
9 to 1: Robb – Probably only happening if he talks about touring with Evil Steed back in ‘94
14 to 1: Chandler – Not going to be at the game, plus finding a girl who will call him Mike Patten is getting harder and harder
One last note about the game goes to Jeffrey Samuel Feintech who was the best damn player both on and off the field. He is also my hero of heroes.
Street Credit Ratings:
The other team having 2 red heads on their team thereby constituting a “ginger explosion”: +3% Fielding: -25%
The Skip finally buying (albeit too late) some PBR: +13%
Batting: -23%
Final Street Credit Rating: 99%
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